Control Freaks Anonymous

Let it go pg 23

Hi, my name is Kristen. And I am a control-freak. According to the Control Quotient assessment at the end of chapter one in Let. It. Go by Karen Ehman, I actually border on being manipulative. I was ONE POINT AWAY from being in the “Control Freak Alert” category. To be honest, I had never considered myself that controlling until I started to read this book. I mean I knew I could be a little controlling and I liked things done my way. But I had no clue as to how bad it actually was.

I will admit that I manipulate to get my way. I will go to whatever means necessary to get my way. I want what I want when I want it and don’t you dare make me wait or we will have issues. I do what needs to be done to get my way! I admit that so that some woman out there reading this can know that you are not alone! Can anyone relate? If you can I understand your struggle! But I pray this study will help me (and you) learn ways to just let it go. I have hope and so should you!

Our hope is in God! He is the One who can restore us and help us let things go and be free! We must put our trust in Him and Him alone. We have to stop trying to do everything on our own. That is what I hope to learn from this study. I want to equip myself with the tools to let go and let God! After all He did call and would like His job back. And if He calls, we better answer!

Are you struggling right now? Is it hard for you to let go and just trust in Him? Won’t you join me in learning how to give God His job back? Leave a comment below and let me know where you are struggling and how I can pray for you.

Love and blessings friends,

*I got the picture from Melissa Taylor’s online bible study board on Pinterst. Here is the link:



  1. I enjoyed reading your entry, Kristen! I loved how you said, “We must put our trust in Him and Him alone. We have to stop trying to do everything on our own.” That’s so true! Yes, it’s difficult for me to let go and trust God. So much so, that my one word for 2013 is trust. I think this is an excellent study to help me overcome my struggle. Thank you for sharing your experiences and insights.

    • Thanks Bree! Thanks for taking the time to read my blog and I am glad you enjoyed it! I pray that God uses this study to help you learn how to trust Him more!

      Love and blessings!

  2. Kristen,
    I totally agree with you that I never considered myself to be that controlling until I started reading this book. I am so thankful for this study and for this opportunity to read your blog. And yes, I am joining with you to learn how we can give God his job back!

    • Mary,
      Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post! And I am so glad to have you going on this journey with the rest of us! It is so exciting and I pray God will help us both learn to let go and put our trust back in Him!

      Love and blessings!

    • Thank you Stephanie! And thank you for reading! I was amazed reading chapter one at the many different ways we can control. I never would have realized all those ways women try to control! It has made me more aware of what I do and my reason for doing it. I don’t want to be a control freak or a manipulator anymore! I too will be praying for us on this journey!

      Love and blessings!

  3. Kristen, loved your post! Thank you for being real with us. I am also discovering my own control issues through this study. But like you said, even controllers have hope. Thank you for that reminder.

    • Jamy,

      Thank you for taking the time to read my post! I am going to have to remind myself that I have hope on a daily basis. Because sometimes when I mess up and i am to controlling or manipulative, it seems like I have no hope; I feel like I cannot change and just let it go. So I have to remind myself that there IS hope and that I can change. I just have to give control to God (which is so very hard to do sometimes).

      Love and blessings!

    • Kara,

      Thanks for taking the time to read my post. I agree; I think there were many people who did not realize how much of a “control freak” they were. I also think some did not realize the different types of control that there were until reading chapter one (I know I didn’t).

      Love and blessings!

  4. Hi Kristen,
    My name is Andrea and I am a high scoring control freak.
    Not that I want to be, but the truth is I am.
    My biggest area is my 26 year old adult son who has had medical problems due to a car accident with major surgeries. He became addicted to pain medication which spiraled and the last 2 1/2 years have been awful. He is in recovery and slips and slides.
    Now to me, I try to live his recovery. (even confirmed by the “pros”)
    I track him physically through his phone, monitor his every move, control (or try to control) his access to money, on and on.
    I am weary as this is not my only control area.
    I am beyond the “nice” control. I just plain yell, scream, threaten, retreat.
    I SOOOOOOO much want to LET IT GO and trust God.
    I would appreciate your prayers, as right now I am very much alone. My family is not so happy with me, I do not blame them, they have seen me go down hill (emotionally and physically) and my best friend suddenly went home to be with the Lord. She was my encourager, sounding board, prayer partner, stuck by me and loved me no matter what. I am truly grieving and missing her in the midst of all this.
    I pray this online Bible Study (my first) will equip me to move forward, let go, and put my HOPE and TRUST back in God.
    Thanks so much, Andrea

    • Andrea,

      Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I understand where you are coming from as my mother was addicted to pain medication for many many years. She has just recently gotten clean. Without going into to many details, it caused many problems in our family and especially between her and myself. I am still working through some of the pain that it caused me so believe me when I say I understand. I will definitely keep you in my prayers! I want you to know that you are not alone. God is right there with you and He feels your pain and hears your prayers. I too pray that this study will help you learn to let it go and give Him control of the situation with your son. I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your friend and I will pray that God gives you strength in the midst of all of this! God wants you to put your trust in Him and give Him control. I pray that this study will help you learn to do that! Hugs to you sweet sister!

      Love and blessings!

  5. Also,this may sound a bit strange, but because I justify my controlling as being necessary, I feel like I am seeking God to tell me it’s OK to Let It ALL Go.

    • I think the hardest things to let go are our children. We are Mama Bears where they are concerned and becoming enablers is just second nature – certainly not what God would have but just where we end up! Trusting Him to take care of the details and let the cards fall where they may is sooooo very difficult. I will be praying for us both to be able to make that happen – with the Lord’s help, of course. We certainly cannot do it on our own!

    • Rebecca,
      Thank you for taking the time to read my post! I agree that manipulative does sound worse than control freak. Sadly, I am both. But before reading chapter 1 and doing the quiz at the end I did not realize just how much of a control freak I really was. But my eyes have been opened in a big way! I too have so much to learn from this book and study and I cannot wait to see where God takes me (and you)!

      Love and blessings!

  6. I never really thought I was a controller until now. I am a people pleaser always wanting approval, being a extrovert people miss the quiet side of me. I have seen lately how I need to give over control to God and trust Him with the results, not trying to work things out my way.That of course doesn’t work anyway. Thanks for sharing Kristen.

    • Thanks for taking the time to read my post! I am also a people pleaser as well. So I understand where you are coming from. And I know it is not easy to just let it go and give it to God. Somedays are easy and others days I still think I know what is best. It is a process-imperfect progress (thank you unglued study).

      Love and blessings!

  7. Thank you Kristen for sharing and I enjoyed reading your post.
    I myself have always known that I was a control freak, but never wanting to admit it. That was until I meet God about two years ago and now I realize that we both can’t run the show. And trust me I much prefer that God runs the show then me. Because I have seen firsthand what happens when I try to run things. Lets just say things didn’t turn out so well, as I had plan or thought.. 😦 My control issues all came about because I grew up in dysfunctional family, men severely used and abused and I lived in the streets for a long time. I had learn at seven years old and through out my life that I COULD’NT TRUST ANYONE! So in a twisted way I had to learn to take control of things that I had really had no control over anyways. But I would stil try to control anything and everything that I possibly could. It gave me this false sense that I had some kind of power over what was going on in my life at that time. It also gave me a sense of security, that was no where to be found when I needed it the most!! Now here I sit almost two years latter after I had meet Jesus Christ one on one and He asks me the most diffciult thing by far and that is to trust HIm in everything. And I can feel my heart sinking and my heart racing as I say and think about those words TRUST ME. Over and over again in my mind I can hear the words, how can I trust You when I grew up in world the last thiry-four and half years of my ife learning to TRUST NO ONE!!! How my Lord, how do I trust YOU? How do I seperate you from the ones who hurt me and betrayed me when I really needed them most. How can I get my heart to see Your not like them? That Your gentle, kind, loving, forgiving, trust worthy and most of all Your God the all mighty!!! How do I get this to all align with my heart, so that I can trust You with no restrictions? Lord hear, my deepest cries and help a child who still lost and hurt inside of a grown woman, who wants nothing more in her life right now than to love, serve and to trust You.
    Learning how to give God His job back…

    • Thank you for taking the time to read my post! I know that is will not be easy learning to let it go. And I know that we will slip up and still try to control things on our own. We do not have to be perfect in this journey of learning to give Him his job back. We just need to learn from the times we do slip up. If you have read Unglued by Lysa Terkeurst or did the Unglued study she calls it imperfect progress. That is the goal in anything that we are trying to accomplish: imperfect progress! I pray that you will be able to fully trust God and learn to let Him have the control! Hugs to you sweet sister!

      Love and blessings!

  8. Kristen
    Thanks for taking the time and sharing. Also for being real. I know I have an issue wil controlling things so the outcome will be want I want. I know this is exhausting and fustrating when I’m in God’s lane instead of my own. This leaves me without peace. I want to learn how to truely let it go. I got the first chapter free but I do not have a book. Hoping to get it on a prize give away. I did the last 2 studies and they were excellent but I believe this is what I need. It’s hard looking at yourself realizing your a controller but dont know how to let go. I have prayed. Blessing to you and all you do. It’s a gift from God. Never stop speaking the TRUTH!

    • Karen,

      Thank you for taking the time to read my blog! Letting go is not easy. And I do not have all the answers. But I do know that we can learn to let it go and learn to trust God again but it is a process. And some days will be better than others. But that is why we receive grace! Will be praying for you!

      Do you have a kindle or a nook? Or the kindle app for the computer? That is an easy way to get the book and it is usually cheaper that way too. I sure hope you will be able to get a book. I am in chapter 7 and it has been very helpful so far!

      Love and blessings!

  9. Thanks, Kristen for sharing. It is true! God did call and requested His job back. I don’t think I have come to fully realize how controlling I have become over my many years. In 1976 I lost my first husband of a year and a half. He died in a woods accident. That left me to raise our baby girl alone! I was not quite twenty yet. Those years have gone now and she is in her thirties. I did remarry in 1987, but by then I had learned to take control of every aspect of my life. I have known the Lord for most of my adult life and I did learn a lot about how Christians can live Christ like (if they so chose to do so). I have loved the Lord and leaned on Him through many trials and hardships in the past. And now I must learn how to let go and let Him take control. It is my prayer that this Bible study and many more to come will keep me growing in Him.

  10. As I’m sitting here reading, I’m thinking…she could be my twin sister! I have the “what about me” syndrome too. I scored in the Control Freak Alert and grab the book taking it again. πŸ™‚
    Its nice not to be going on the journey alone.

    • Thank you for taking the time to read my post. It is so nice to know that we are not alone! These studies have been a real blessing for me and I pray for you as well!

      Love and blessings!

  11. Thank you Kristen for your uplifting and honest words. I have learned that the biggest conflict that gets in our way of growing, maturing, and learning is honesty. We so need to be honest with ourselves in order to see some change.

    • Jessica,

      Thank you for taking the time to read my post! You have an excellent point. If we are not honest with ourselves then change will not happen. We cannot change something that we do not admit is a problem. Thank you for your sweet comment!

      Love and blessings!

  12. Thanks Kristen! I love how you said, “Our hope is in God! He is the One who can restore us and help us let things go and be free!”
    That is so true and it is such a liberating feeling when we can let God take care of our lives! When we can hand over our worries, anxieties and cares to him and we can just be how and where and who he wants us to be! Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts with us. God bless!

    -Erin Cuomo, OBS Smallgroup Leader

    • Erin,

      Thank you for taking the time to read my post! I agree that it is so freeing when we let God be in control. Not always easy to do but I am working on it! And learning so much through these studies!

      Love and blessings!

    • Thank you for taking the time to read my post! I am right there with you! It always makes me feel good when people are honest about who they are. It also let’s me know that I am not alone. Glad you enjoyed it! πŸ™‚

      Love and blessings!

  13. Kristen,
    Thank you SO MUCH for participating in the blog hop. Praying for all of us as we learn to stop trying to control and start trusting God. Have a great weekend and remember to LET. IT. GO. πŸ™‚
    {Hugs} Karen Ehman

    • Karen,
      Thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog! I have LOVED this book so far and have found it very helpful. Thanks for your kind words! Have a wonderful weekend as well! Hugs πŸ™‚

      Love and blessings,

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